Happy To Report

Scott turned in his comprehensive exam. Whew! That was 6 weeks of intense research and writing. We are so proud of him. Last night we fixed him one of his favorite dinners, put streamers, banners and signs up and spent some quality time with our hero.

He (we) will wait up to six weeks for his exam to be graded. In the meantime, he has student teachers that he advises, assists a class taught within the education program at UNC and will begin brainstorming for his dissertation proposal. Oh yes and he has five presentations tomorrow in Greensboro. He is such an important and busy guy.

As I have mentioned before, Scott wears all of his hats extremely well. I am so thankful for him, so proud.

Considering A Switch

Blogger is telling me that I have met my limit of pictures for this blog. Didn't know this was possible. In order to continue uploading photos, I would have to pay for space. I am not going to choose that option, so I am considering creating a new blog and have a link on it to this one. It kind of bums me out a bit. Until I make the switch, I will just be writing with no pictures. I am such a visual person, so this is disappointing.

This Day

The following song lyrics came to my mind today. It is an older song by Point of Grace. (Scott will be cracking up over the mention of Point of Grace) I use to listen to this group a lot in college. It is a song that I remember singing over and over.

This morning I got a call from my mom before 8 am. So, I knew as soon as I saw her name on my phone that something was possibly wrong. She informed me that my great aunt had passed last night. I knew Beulah had been sick, even recently broke her hip. It was pneumonia that took the last bit of strength she had. My breath was taken as I took in this news. What an amazingly strong woman. What a powerful and capable individual. I have such fond memories of summers spent in her and my grandma's company.

Sadness lingers as I go room to room with our children continuing in another day's work. Life here goes on. I know my grandma and mom are super sad and I would give anything just to sit with them right now. My aunt is at peace now, that is what I keep telling myself.

I moseyed over to my computer and found a friend's post announcing that she is expecting her fifth child. I have heard it said that when a life ends a new life begins, this is true and there is such hope in that.

This Day
Words & music by lowell alexander

This day is fragile - soon it will end
And once it has vanished, it will not come again
So let us love with a love pure and strong
Before this day is gone

This day is fleeting when it slips away
Not all our money can buy back this day
So let us pray that we might be a friend
Before this day is gone

This day is fleeting
When it slips away
Not all our money can buy back this day
So let us pray that we might be a friend
Before this day is spent

This day we're given is golden
Let us show love
This day is ours for one moment
Let us sow love

This day is frail - it will pass by
So before it's too late to recapture the time
Let us share love, let us share God
Before this day is gone
Before this day is gone

Thoughts on Love and Recent Reading

Don't tell the old Anna, but I love reading. Over the past year, I have been reading novels for the first time. For the past 15 years, I have been reading self-help books on single life, faith, marriage, motherhood and parenting. I have picked up a number of novels at used bookstores in our area. Most of the novels have been written in the past ten years. I have been drawn to authors like Bret Lot, Anna Quindlen, and Kim Edwards. The book I am reading now is entitled The Pilot's Wife, by Anita Shreve. It was published in 1998. 120 pages in and I am hooked. Kathryn, a pilot's wife, gets that knock at the door one night. The kind that changes her forever. Her husband's plane crashed. The plot is full of emotion as Shreve presents a character that learns to live with this devastation. Within this story Shreve allows the reader to go into Kathryn's memory of her life with her husband. I want to share several lines from a chapter I was reading yesterday. Kathryn was remembering a fight she had had with her husband. Basically, Kathryn had confronted Jack, her husband, about his behavior at home. He had appeared disinterested and disconnected. They fought and made up and this what was written about the short time that followed.

And the voracious momentum of that night changes, for a time, the tenor of their marriage, so that they look more often into each other's eyes as they pass in the hallway, trying mutely to say something meaningful, and kiss each other with more enthusiasm whenever they meet, in the house or outside by the cars or even , several times, in public, which pleases Kathryn. But after a while, that too passes, and she and Jack go back to normal, as they have been before, which is to say that they, like all the other couples Kathryn has ever known, live in a state of gentle decline, of being infinitesimally, but not agonizingly, less than they were the day before.

Which means, on the whole, she thinks, that it is a good marriage.

I love the language used, but what is being said here troubles me. I can understand what Shreve is trying to allow the reader to know about Kathryn and her thoughts on her own marriage. It touches me. It touches me in a way that makes me never want to line those thoughts up in my mind about my own marriage.

I desire a marriage that strengthens over time. I want to grow more in love versus living in a state of gentle decline. Love takes time, patience, persistence and work. The love that Scott and I share is sacred. It is not always perfect. It can be down right messy. However, we are very determined and enjoy each other very much. Is it uncomfortable sometimes when we argue, fuss or fight? Yes, of course. No one likes to have to deal with the messiness of marriage. But it is there and we have found that you have to push through and choose love. Marriage takes work.

As I read about what Shreve wrote about Jack and Kathryn's attempt to love one another with more enthusiasm just after they made up, I get that. There are times that I feel like I love with more enthusiasm than other times. When I come down off of that enthusiasm, what is it that makes me choose to love authentically instead of give up and just settle for less than what I want? Words like devotion, attraction, faith, servant hood, hopefulness, thankfulness, unconditional, comfort, need, and desire come to mind.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. America's day to be lovey dovey. I think it is cute. I do eat up any special attention or affection I get. As the word love is thrown around all day tomorrow, what I want is to keep pursuing love and be loved with assurance and delight.

I love being married. Sharing my life with my best friend is really enjoyable. I love Scott. Our life together is better than I could have dreamed up. I am so thankful. I don't want to stop here, I want to grow and enhance the love we share. There's work to be done! I am so thankful for the gift of marriage.

Seed Starting

This past week we started some seeds indoors. We tried this last winter and didn't do so well. With the help of the Kruideniers (our friends in SC) Organic Gardening, and About.com we have put a lot more thought into this process and taken a chance with several flowers and vegetables.

I am happy to report that days later, we have sprouts. :) We are crossing our fingers that we will be able to transplant lettuce, cabbage, marigolds, kale, and collards in mid-March. These are all plants that would be more tolerate to cooler temperatures. In March we will also be planting other vegetable seeds straight into the ground. Vegetables like sugar snap peas, turnips, chard, kale, lettuce varieties, and some sweet pea flowers.

As soon as our ground dries up a little more here, we are heading back to Carefree Ranch. This is where we go with buckets and shovel up horse manure to bring home for our garden. The manure enriches the soil. I am sure I will post about that again.

One Step Closer

Today we had our third and final home visit with our licensing social worker. She has been with us this entire past year throughout our classes and all our requirements for certification. This visit pretty much marked the end of all of our leg work for the licensing part of becoming a foster family. Hip hip hooray!

What a journey this has been. A path full of uncertainty, eagerness, anticipation, worry, hope, education, joy, and preparation. In preparation for today's visit, we had to show that an incoming foster child would have a nice living space (bed, place for things, etc.). We made some changes in Madelyn's room to accommodate our foster child.

Now, we get to wait patiently to hear back from the headquarters in Black Mountain once they receive our full application and paperwork sent by our social worker with the stamped approval of other important DSS employees. This will be at least a thirty day process, probably longer. Then if we are approved, our licensing social worker will send us our letter and certificate in the mail letting us know we are officially a foster home within our state. Yay! We would then be assigned a different social worker and put on a list, of sorts, awaiting a foster child. If we are chosen for a specific child placement, DSS would call us and give us the option providing care for that particular child. As you can imagine, this will take time.

As I have expressed, I have experienced many highs and lows within this licensing process. I think those were truly necessary and helpful for me to go through to get me where I am today. I am thankful and confident to have come this far and I am at peace with our decision to do this as a family.