I know why the addicts do it

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh . . . .

Today was a long day. The kids had a terrible case of the fussies. It seemed every other minute they were at odds with one another or just had bad attitudes. Oh and of course this rubs off on their caregivers, eh-hem.

There were so many moments that I thought I was going to pull my hair out. It is so hard not to take on your children's attitude when they are upset, angry, whining, and complaining. I am sure that a lot of the time I just mirror back to them what their attitude looks like. It is difficult being the stronger one. It is difficult to rise above.

There were a lot of factors that contributed to the fussies today. I would be good to remember those. So many times today, Scott and I looked at each other in disbelief. Is it really all that unbelievable that our children were acting like children? Is it hard to realize that 90 degree heat would make one ill? It just seemed overwhelming. I just wanted to be swept away.

I assume that this feeling of wanting to flee a situation or be swept away is not unlike those of an addict. Whether it is food, drugs, or sex. Addicts are searching for a numbness, a release, comfort, a carelessness, a fulfillment, and/or a way out. Now, I am not going to go hit the bottle or go searching for a quick fix somewhere. I am just saying, I think I can relate to that feeling of wanting to escape. Mothering is hard. Somedays, I wonder if I will make it through the day.

We, as parents, take on so much, each day, as we are trying to raise up our children. It is tough. There is a lot to manage. To be an effective parent, one must be disciplined. That takes strength, unconditional love, and PATIENCE! It is so hard.

If I were to tap into the spiritual part of me, I would say that I need to read and meditate on Galations 5:22 and beyond, taking note of the fruit of the Spirit. As a follower of Christ, I should lean on the power and strength of my Lord and pray that the Spirit intercede for me. I must admit that I am not quick to remember to lean on the strength of the Lord. Yep, I try to do things all on my own.

As I was chatting with Madelyn in her bed tonight, she asked me a very good question. We have special talks at night in her room. I was talking to her about our day and how we all need to work on our attitudes and controlling ourselves. She asked, "But Mommy, how do I control myself." To that, I said, "Ah, what a great question. We have to think before we act. Also, we can ask God to help us control ourselves. There are many things to get upset about in life. It is how we react and deal with how we feel that matters. God can help us with that. Also, changing who we are and the way we think and act doesn't happen at once. We must work at it." Hmm . . . I know a little Mama that would benefit from those words.

So, I won't be heading out to attend the next AA meeting. I will be finding something to work on that will make my day run more smoothly with my children tomorrow. I will be praying that I will be patient, kind, lighthearted, forgiving and gracious. I will be working on my anger. I will be resting in the unfailing love of Jesus. Oh and of course, I will be falling into the strong, loving and powerful arms of my hero, my partner, and the love of my life, Scott.