Love as a Way of Life

That is the title of the book I am reading. It is by author Gary Chapman. We have some history with Dr. Chapman. He married us ten years ago. He works with Scott's mom in Winston-Salem. He has written many books, one of which is the bestseller called The Five Love Languages. If you have not read that one-you owe it to yourself.

Within this newer book, put out in 2008, Chapman describes what he believes are the seven characteristics of loving a person:
* Kindness
* Patience
* Forgiveness
* Courtesy
* Humility
* Generosity
* Honesty
He writes, "When put together, the seven key characteristics of love form a loving person. Each trait is critical. If you are missing one in your relationships, you are missing something significant."

Dr. Chapman's books are always so easy for me to read and quite addictive. He tells a lot of stories that one can relate to. I am reading about kindness in Chapter 2.  Chapman had a list of one man's list of kindnesses he observed in one day. One of the steps in learning to express acts of kindness is to notice/observe it, right?  When reading through this very thorough list, I was surprised at the large number of kind acts in his observation of kindness in such a short amount of time.  So, I was challenged to do the same.  Here is a tidbit of the kindness I observed today. 

*When Scott went to change and get ready for basketball at 5:45am this morning, he closed the bathroom door.  (I was of course sound asleep)

*All my children went downstairs quietly this morning and kept themselves busy so as not to wake me.  

*When Scott returned, he let me sleep a little longer.

*Scott made a big pot of oatmeal.  

*My kids said "morning" to me when I saw them.  

*I made a cup of tea for Julian, Maddie and Kalen, Scott had made him and I some.

*I cleaned up every one's breakfast.

*The kids played without squabbles so Scott and I could catch up on emails, reading, and clean-up.

*When Scott was reading I closed the bedroom door as to not disrupt him.

*The kids did all their chores without multiple reminders.

*Kalen gave a toy to Brayden even though he really wanted it.

*Brantley called to tell us when they would be arriving this afternoon for a visit.

*Kalen took Brayden upstairs to find his tool set because Kalen had out his.

*I wiped Maddie's nose without saying anything to her.

*Maddie swept up the floor without being asked.  

*I made coffee and cookies for Katie, Brantley, Scott and I.

*Katie complimented the children's art on the wall.

*Brantley asked about our Christmas holiday travels.

*Brantley invited Scott to go with him to a hockey game with him and his brother.

*I watched Eleanor while Katie returned some things at the mall and had some alone time.

*Madelyn asked Eleanor if she would like to put the last three pieces in the puzzle that Julian, Kalen and Maddie had been working on.

*The kids stayed busy while Katie and I ate a salad in the next room.

*Madelyn quietly called down to me from upstairs.  Tonight, Brady kept getting out of his bed and going to her room.  She never yelled at him, just remained patient with his coming and going.

Now, that was not even all of the kindness that flowed in and out of our home today.  Just imagine what you could jot down after coming and going from work one day or all the kindness you could observe in just one day home with your kids.  

Dr.  Chapman says that kindness is the joy of meeting someone else's needs before your own simply for the sake of the relationship.  This challenges me to be willing to sacrifice.  Chapman writes, "we cannot love authentically if we are not willing to sacrifice."  Kind acts, small or big, reflect a desire to serve others.  I agree as Chapman states, "service is at the heart of any loving person."  

I can not wait to dig further into this book.  I am sure it will enlighten my view of love.  In this new year, my biggest goal is to love others well.